|Sad uneaten cruskit.|
Me: I'm hungry
Me: Ok, let's have lunch
Me: 3 Cruskits, avocado, felafel and tomato?
Sound of munching.
Me: Gee they were good, can I have another?
Me: Awww why not??
Me: Because three is enough.
Me: Just one more *pleading*?
Me: Oh for goodness sakes, stop whinging, here, have another cruskit with hommous.
Me: Mmm that was good, can I have another?
Me: Oh come on, the cruskits are diet ones. What about another felafel? They're like, vegetarian or something.
Me: You've done nothing but eat since Friday night. I let you have some sneaky leftover soft cheese on your cruskits that you didn't mention above and now what?! You're just never happy are you?
Me: It's just really yummy.
Me: Haven't you got something better to do? Why don't you go and write something for fuck's sake? That's your job remember, not eater, copywriter.
Me: Yeah, but it's so long til I can eat the kids leftovers. It's like, 5 hours.
Me: Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that. We can't do that anymore.
Me: Nope, it's just making us enormous, and sluggish, and summer's coming.
Me: So what am I supposed to do then, just leave the bits they don't eat? Put them in the bin? What a waste!
Me: That's so harsh.
Me: And I may as well tell you while we're having this conversation, after dinner you can't have two mini Twirls and a row of Cadbury rocky road. You have to have a diet hot chocolate.
Me: I'm sorry but you just can't keep going with all this chocolate consumption. It's bad for your skin too.
Me: Oh for fuck's sake.
Me: Look, why don't you have a cup of tea, that's a nice writerly thing to do. And if you're hungry later, you can have a carrot.
Me: A carrot.
Me: dead silence.
Is anyone else having arguments like these with themselves? I have them EVERY day.